the best of dave barry--

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

And it was just so cool. It was 500 million times cooler than, for example, Bobby Rydell.

WHY WE NEED GUYS.
Guys are practical.

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

No matter how much you love your spouse, eventually the smooth, unblemished surface of your relationship will be marred by a small pimple of anger, which, if ignored, can grow into a major festering zit of rage that will explode and spew forth a really disgusting metaphor that I do not wish to pursue any further here.

There is no such thing as ''fennel,'' yet many of your gourmet recipes call for it. Other examples of imaginary ingredients are ''shallots,'' ''capers'' and ''arugula.'' So

Like most people, you probably often ask yourself: ``What, exactly, are my legal rights if I am wearing a bunny outfit?''

Today, as is our wont, we begin with our first question: Q. You have a wont? A. Yes, but we comb our hair such that you cannot see it.

because really, no one does understand daylight savings